


Catsandratsandelephants

by OtherCat



Series: OtherCat's Snippets and Incomplete Fic [17]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen, Inappropriate Behavior, Inappropriate Humor, Like a grasshopper on a hot griddle, M/M, Manipulation, Misunderstandings, Quests, Threats, Threats of Violence, Unicorns, Xander jumps to the wrong conclusions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-02-26
Updated: 2005-02-26
Packaged: 2018-10-04 07:55:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10271879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OtherCat/pseuds/OtherCat
Summary: Spike needs a virgin for unknown reasons. More than likely, nefarious ones.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I am pretty sure this was actually the cleaned up version of an rp. For the life of me, I can't remember if the rp was with kdorian or Ladycat.

Xander walked fast, his hands in his pockets, hurrying home. Patrol had been quiet the last few nights. They'd only gotten one vampire the whole evening, so walking home alone seemed pretty safe. He still kept an eye out, though. This was Sunnydale. You never could tell. As he approached his house, he could see someone on the porch, smoking.

A blond someone.

What the? Who was smoking on the porch? Xander's footsteps slowed. Never mind that mom would throw a fit if she found cigarette butts. No one who lived in town smoked outside in the evening. The ones who wanted to got killed off. His folks hadn't mentioned guests, though it wouldn't be surprising if they hadn't bothered to tell him. It was suspicious that the figure was hanging back in the shadows, but even if it was something he didn't want to tangle with, the front door was right there. Though... he winced as he heard a crash from inside. They were fighting again. "Hey," he said neutrally, hoping to catch the attention of someone who was probably just a guest who'd come out to get away from the battle inside.

"Nice night, isn't it?" The figure moved forward out of the shadows of the porch, and took another drag on his cigarette. Spike.

 Xander froze. It wasn't so much a fight or flight reaction as a flight or flight reaction. Spike was between him and the door, or at least close enough to stop him from making it inside. The odds on his making it to a neighbor's house and getting inside were even worse. "Spike," he squeeked. He wasn't supposed to be here! The things they hunted weren't supposed to be waiting for them when they got home!

Spike smirked, and inclined his head slightly. "That's me. Didn't get your name the other night, though. Shame on Angelus, for not making a proper introduction." 

Xander took a step backwards. "Um. You two had other things to talk about besides me. He's still in town, you know." He took another step back. "If you, you know, wanted to go talk to him about old times or something."

"It's not him I want to talk with," Spike said. "And I wouldn't take another step back, if I were you."

Xander froze again. "So what do you want to talk about," he said faintly.

"Would you believe that I lost my puppy an' I need help to find him, little boy?" Spike asked in a light fake-friendly voice. Spike settled down onto the top step, and flicked ashes from his cigarette.

"In a word? No." The sharp edge of terror was beginning to wear off. It was hard to see Spike as threatening when he was sitting and having a smoke.

"Have a seat," Spike said, and patted the step he was sitting on.

"Again with the no. We're not friends." Xander debated taking another step back, but he'd seen how fast Spike was. And just because he didn't seem threatening at the moment didn't mean Xander was safe from having his throat torn out.

"Wouldn't matter if you had a stand up start or if you sat down, if I wanted to do anything to you," Spike said, as if reading Xander's mind. "Have a seat."

Okay, Spike was right, but did he have to _say_ it? Xander gingerly stepped to the other side of the steps and sat down, as far away from Spike as he could get. And was it his imagination, or was this getting seriously strange? "OK, sitting. What do you want?"

"What's your name?" Spike asked.

"Xander."

"Mind if I ask you a personal question?" Spike asked, and took another drag on his cigarette.

Xander wondered what Spike would do if he said yes. _Try not to annoy the vampire, Xan-man._   "What?"

"You a virgin?"

Xander realized two things. One, that Spike was a Very Disturbed vampire, and two, that it was in fact possible to get farther from Spike without technically leaving the step. "No!" he lied, flushing.

"Damn, guess I'll just have to go with plan B then. What about that little red haired chit?" Spike smirked.

"What are you, some sort of pervert?!" Why in Hell did he want to know if Xander or Willow were virgins?

"Vampire pet, comes with the territory." Spike leered, then took another drag on his cigarrette.

Eep. Xander found himself on his feet, running for the door. Getting killed was one thing. Playing 'pet' to some perverted vampire was something else _completely_.

Spike was on his feet in a instant, grabbing Xander by arm and shirt collar, swung him around and bent him over the porch rail. He twisted Xander's arm behind his back, and applied pressure. 

"Oof!" Xander wheezed. He gasped for breath. Spike hadn't been anythink like gentle when he'd swung him into the rail; Xander couldn't catch his breath. He kicked back at the vampire feebly.

Spike twisted Xander's arm a bit more, and avoided the kick. "Determined little bugger, aren't you? Yeah, you'll do just fine." He winced when another kicke actually connected, but didn't let go. "Settle down, or I'll do something nasty," he said.

Right, like Xander was supposed to expect Spike to treat him _nicely_ if he cooperated. "Pervert!" he wheezed. "Not going to be-" Xander coughed. "-your pet!"

"My my, you do have a dirty mind. Must be a virgin after all," Spike said. "Not looking for a pet. Looking for a little something that only a virgin can find."

Xander panted as he started to get his breath back. "you said you were going to do perverted things with your vampire pet! Now I'm supposed to think you're looking for a unicorn?" Xander asked in an disbelieving whisper.

"Er?" Spike sounded utterly dumbfounded, then snickered. "No, I implied being perverted comes with the territory of being a vampire. Not that I was going to _make_ you my pet. You _are_ a twisted little git, aren't you?" Spike snickered again.

Xander glared back over his shoulder, and never mind the books about vampires he'd sneaked a look at when Giles was busy. "I _heard_ what you said," he said, obviously not believing the evil undead guy.

"What did I say, exactly?" Spike said patiently.

Xander frowned in thought. "That being perverted came with the vampire pet?" That didn't sound quite right, somehow.

"You asked if I were perverted," Spike said patiently. " _I_ said 'vampire pet, comes with the territory.' From _there_ you jumped to some _fascinating_ conclusions. _Someone's_ been a very naughty boy, and reading dirty books." Spike tsked, and released Xander, blocking his access to the door. Inside, the fight had subsided.

"Right. You just admited what I thought you said, and this is supposed to reassure me how?" Xander rubbed his arm, which hurt from being twisted. "I know about vampires."

"'Pet' is just an expression, you twit--and why am I arguing about this?" Spike raked fingers through his hair. "You're not far wrong on the unicorn thing. I'm looking for the Karkadann Cup--s'posed to having healing powers, even for vampires."

"Oh." Xander replayed the conversation in his head. "Oh! Right. So you didn't mean-- right. Cup? Okay, you have good luck with that." Xander tried to slide past Spike to the door. He didn't think it would work.

"Did you just miss the part where I said I needed a virgin to find the thing?" Spike inquired, moving into Xander's path, and pushing him back. "Now, let's go for a walk."

Xander stumbled back. "Um, not a virgin?" he lied again. "So again with the good luck on the Caca cup, but time for me to get some shuteye, so you keep me posted on how that goes."

Spike smiled insincerely. "Right then, the little red haired girl lives at--" here, he rattled off Willow's address. "Right?"

Xander thought fast. Willow would be in by now, and if he could call her and warn her, she'd know not to go out, not that she would anyway. "Has a boyfriend." Xander shrugged.

Spike looked disappointed. "Oh well, guess you'll do for a snack then," Spike said, and pulled a black jack out of his coat pocket and smacked it upside Xander's head. The last thing Xander saw were stars, and the porch zooming up at him.

Some time later, Xander slowly woke. He was on a bed, and he * _hurt_ *. His initial attempt to sit up failed, and forced him to realize that he wasn't spread out because of the way he'd moved in his sleep, he was spread out because he was _chained to the bed and this was SO not good!_ He tried yanking his arms free, but all he got were sore arms. But maybe Buffy was going to come to the rescue any minute now! Even though she wouldn't even know he was gone until tomorrow at the earliest and wouldn't know where he was or who took him... He whimpered softly. Any minute now.

 

* * *

 

 

"...Might have completely ruined any chance of the quest actually succeeding," a voice was saying. "It says here the Virgin has to come willingly."

"Then can I keep him?" An oddly child like woman's  voice asked. "The last dolly broke."

"No, Dru,"  Spike's voice said patiently, the tone of a man who's all ready said "no," several times previously, and was about to flip his lid if he was asked again. "Does it say anything specific about not knocking him upside the head so the questor isn't arguing with the damned Virgin all night over rubbish?" 

"Well, no," the other voice replied.

Xander strained to hear. Maybe, just maybe, he could get out of this, if he could persuade Spike that he wasn't a virgin. It didnt sound like Spike believed him last night. He wasn't sure how one faked not being a virgin, but lots of denial would probably help.

"There you go then," Spike said. "I give the boy a talking to, we head up to the caves, defeat the guardian, fill the cup, and Dru gets better."

"I don't think it's going to be quite as simple as you make it sound, Spike," the voice said. "What about the Slayer?"

"We will run her around in circles until she trips over her own feet," Dru said in a dreamy voice.

"You will indeed, my Dark Princess," Spike said in a fatuous tone of voice.

Geeze. That Spike guy sounded like he was playing Gomez Addams to the girl's fruitcake Morticia. They were planning on getting him to cooperate? Like THAT was going to happen. He was cheered to know that Buffy was on the case. No doubt the gang would come bursting in annnny minute now. He'd even endure the teasing he'd be sure to get. He kept listening, throwing an occasional hopeful glance around.

The bed was a big four poster, without a canopy. Every conceivable surface was decorated with porcelain dolls, all of them staring at Xander with big glass eyes. Rescue would be good, and the sooner the better because the dolls were seriously wigging him out. There were something strange about them, bad strange. He closed his eyes so he couldn't see them.

"...Speaking of talking to the boy, I think it's time I checked up on him," Spike said. Xander could hear footsteps.

Xander want limp, trying to pretend he was still out of it.  Xander heard the door open, and footsteps, then the sound of someone sitting down near the bed. There was a moment of silence. "I know you're awake, git," Spike said. "Your heart's goin' a mile a minute."

Xander opened his eyes. Vampire hearing, right, he'd forgotten.Buffy is _SO_ gonna kick your ass for this," he said.

Spike smirked. "You go right on telling yourself that, pet," Spike said. "Now, you're going to come along like a good little boy to help me look for the Cup, for various mutually beneficial reasons."

"What cup? And not seeing any way to get up, here, let alone any reason I should help you out. So I think we're back at 'No'," Xander said.

"Everything I said before just went in one ear and out the other, didn't it?" Spike asked. "There's this artifact called the Karkadann Cup, it'll heal someone of any sickness or wound, and it'll work on anything."

"Right, the Caca-dan thing. STILL chained down here, and still not seeing any reason to help you. Maybe you could untie me and explain why I'd have one reason to help you?" Xander glared at Spike. The vampire didn't seem very bright.

"Well pet, the only reason me and Dru are here, is because Dru was hurt a while back. Heal her, and I don't have reason to be in town, aside from the Slayer," Spike smiled amiably.

"What do you mean, aside from the Slayer?" Oh, great. Spike thought _he_ was an idiot. Sure, he'd help Spike - then Buffy would have _two_ of Angel's spawns to deal with. Or a spawn and a... what, grandspawn?

Spike gave Xander a look, as if he thought that _Xander_ was the stupid one. "Maybe I should spell it out for you, pet? You help me, Dru gets better, and we leave town. You _don't_ help me, and we stay in town, and I try to see if Slayer blood's a good substitute for blood from a unicorn horn cup."

"Uh-huh. Or you and the doll lady decide to celebrate by going after her. Sorry, not big into trusting dead people here." Xander glared defiantly.

"In the first place, according to the bloody manuscript, I'm not allowed to convince you through deceit, and if I make a deal, I keep it. For another, I didn't come here for the Slayer, I came here for Angel, because he's the only other thing that could possibly help Dru."

Xander blinked. "What? Then why did you go after Buffy at the parent-teachers night thing?"

"Well, not that I wouldn't like to have a go against a third Slayer, this time around, I was doing it for The Annoying One." Spike smirked. "Of course now that I've killed the nasty little bugger, I'm not obligated to add another one to my tally, am I?"

"Uh-huh. So you'd just leave town." Xander was doubtful, but maybe it could work. If Spike wasn't lying. But if he could get the cup, then he could take it back to Buffy and Giles. They could use it when people got hurt on patrol. Only it wouldn't be him using it, cause Not A Virgin, right? "Still doesn't mean you don't want to," Xander said.

"Well no, but I'm willing to make a deal, if it'll help Dru," Spike said. "If one of your little friends were hurt, wouldn't you move heaven an' earth to help make them better?"

"Um." Xander wasn't going to point out that none of his friends were undead, or crazy. "Not a virgin, remember?" Which was a lie, but there was no way he was going to admit it.

Spike tsked. "Such a sad thing, you lying about a cardinal virtue and all that. Dru said you were a virgin--well, actually, she said you were a floppy haired Galahad with sloe-black eyes and a rose-bud mouth--but I know what she meant."

Xander's eyes widened in alarm. Sloe-black eyes? Galahad? Rose-bud mouth? "I get your cup, you keep her away from me and let me go after?" OK, it wasn't quite heroic, but Drusilla was freaking him out without even being here. 

"That sounds fair enough," Spike said agreeably.

Xander looked suspicious. "Safe and sound. Somewhere where I can get to a phone and call my friends. Unharmed, not turned, not tied up." Xander tried to think of other conditions.

"I'll agree to those conditions pet, if I have your word that you'll do as I say, and don't try anything that'll get the both of us killed," Spike said with a frown.

"I won't try anything that'll get you two killed, or me," Xander said, "but I'm not going to promise to do what you say. I dont' trust you."

"Pet, the 'both of us killed' in this instance is you and me. Dru isn't coming on this little adventure, and you'd *better* mind me," Spike said with a glare.

Xander glared back. "If you want me to do what you say, you're just going to have to be persuasive. I promise to do what you say and next thing I know you'll be telling me to tell you Buffy's Secret Weakness or something. No dice."

Spike stared at Xander for a minute, and blinked.  "Pet, I think you've been reading too many comic books."

"That's a lie! Um, I mean. Nothing. Never mind." Xander flushed. "Still not going to promise to do what you say."

"What do you mean by 'persuasive'?" Spike asked suddenly.

"Uh - convince me," Xander said, looking at Spike with his eyes narrowed. "Like, you could start _persuading_ me that you're not going to hurt me by _unchaining_ me."

"And you won't try something stupid like trying to run off or anything?" Spike asked skeptically.

Xander hesitated. "Not unless I'm pretty sure I'll actually get away? Cause otherwise I'd just piss you off."

"You're kind of essential to this plan, pet. And if you don't do what I say, we'll both end up dead." Spike got up, and pulled the key to the manacles out of his pocket, and unlocked them. "There, you feeling more cooperative now?"

"Ow." Xander pulled in his now-cramped limbs. "Ow, ow, ow. Running away is right-oh ow-right off the list for the-" He groaned. "The moment. And what getting killed? We go to where the cup is," he said, and started rubbing his arms. "You kill the guard beastie while I scream like a girl, and I get the cup."

"Pet, have you ever seen a karkadann? They've the size and temperament of a rhino, a _meat eating_ rhino." Spike moved over to the dresser, and rummaged around in the drawer, pulling out some clothes. "Here, see if these fit. " Spike set the clothes on the bed. He gave Xander a considering look. "Probably need to get you a pair of hiking boots, too."

"For one, they look like crap, for another, we'll be needing more than one change of clothes." Spike said.

"They do n-" Xander glanced at himself. "Well, OK. Wait a minute!" His eyes widened. "How long is this trip supposed to take?" 

"No clue. Depends on how soon we get a location from the spell. It's a _quest_ pet." Spike stuck his head out the door and yelled for someone named Dalton to bring in the back packs. 

"Quest?" Xander asked the room softly. "Oh, fuck." He got to his feet, grabbing the bundle of clothes as he headed for the door. Time to fine an exit, _now_. He'd use the search for a place to change as an excuse to look around.

"Pet, where do you think you're going?" Spike asked, bemused.

"Um. Change clothes?" Xander asked with a sickly smile.

Spike looked amused. "You do realize that there's a large number of vampires on the other side of that door, right? And they might try something nasty, no matter that they know what'll happen afterward?"

 Xander's eyes went wide, and he backed up a step. "I can change later?"

"No." Spike said. As if to undermine Spike's point, a nebbishy male vampire appeared with a couple of large frame backpacks.  "The tent and the rest of the gear's in the Car, Spike." The vampire set the back packs down, and edged out of the room.

"Tent? _Tent?!_ " Xander squeaked. "Please don't tell me we're going camping. I'm allergic to camping!"

Spike snorted, and started to pack his back pack. "Right, I won't tell you then." Spike looked up a moment. "Better change your clothes now, pet." 

"I'm not changing in front of you!" Xander backed up quickly, holding the bundle of clothes in front of him like a shield. "Perverted undead guy! Perverted _Evil, camping_ undead guy!"

"Pet, for the next little while you'll be pissing, eating and drinking in front of me, as well as getting dressed," Spike said patiently. "Now change." He continued packing his back pack.

"No. Turn around." Xander couldn't fold his arms because of the clothes he was carrying, but he stuck his chin out a little. Not a lot; he wasn't trying to invite Spike to hit it.

"Nothing I haven't seen before pet, on nicer looking blokes than you." Brief smirk.

Xander turned red. Now there was _no_ way he was going to change in front of Spike. "Then I don't change."

"Pet, you remember those vampires on the other side of the door? You want me to bring them in here, to help me dress you?"

Xander looked alarmed, then suspicious. "So, let me get this straight. You kidnap me, get me to agree to go get this cup of yours, but you'll have them kill me if I don't change while you're watching? Uh-uh, don't think so."

Spike blinked. "Pet. I said I'd bring them in here, to help me dress you, not that I'd feed you to them."

Xander looked disconcerted. "Oh. I thought you said -- still with the no public undressing here. It's a deal-breaker. I don't get next to naked with strangers, let alone evil undead camper strangers, and trust me, they don't get much stranger than that." 

"Right. I'll turn around then," Spike said, and rolled his eyes, turning his back on Xander.

Xander raced to get changed, throwing and occasional glance at Spike to be sure he wasn't peeking. There was a sheet he could use to cover himself in an emergency, if Spike tried.

"You hungry?" Spike asked after a few minutes.

"Maybe." Xander was dressed; he was just finishing putting his old tennis shoes one, since no one had brought the camping shoes Spike had talked about. "You have food? Real food?"

"I can send someone out for pizza," Spike said. "Won't be heading out till tomorrow night. It's just now ten o'clock."

"Tomorrow night? So why did I have to get changed now?" Xander asked.

"To throw your friends off the trail a bit," Spike said, and scooped up Xander's clothes, and headed out of the room. "Mind what I said about not leaving the room, pet," Spike called over his shoulder as he exited.

"Oh, fuck," Xander said softly.

After what had to be and hour and a half, Xander heard a knock on the door. "Open up, pet. My hands are a little full," Spike's voice said.

"Yeah? What about all the vampires on the other side of the door you warned me about?" Xander was going to feel like an idiot if there weren't any. He hadn't opened the door while Spike was gone, and if he could have used the time to escape he was going to kick himself.

"The evil fangy hordes aren't perched outside the door you twit. Open up, or I'll eat your pizza."

Xander opened the door slowly, peeking out to see if there were any other vampires out there.

It was just Spike, from what he could see. Holding a box of pizza, a large shoe box, and one of those little cardboard drink carriers. Xander really couldn't see into the hallway past Spike. But he could hear conversation, and movement.

Xander backed up enought to let Spike in, still looking around. It was getting close to midnight by Xander's internal clock, and while pizza was good any time, he was starting to get tired. "What kind did you get?"

"Anchovies." Spike set the pizza box down. He shoved the shoe box to Xander. "Here, have a look at the shoes."

"EWWW! You're a sick and disturbed vampire." Xander opened the shoe box, unsuprised at finding camping shoes. "Please don't tell me you just guessed at my size."

Spike snickered. "Took your shoes off while you slept." He opened the pizza box. Anchovy-free goodness filled the air. Spike had apparently lied about the anchovies. 

"Oo, pizza!" Xander snagged one of the slice as he started hopping on one food, trying to pull one of his shoes off. 

Spike watched, looking amused. He snagged a piece for himself, and sat down, enjoying the floor show.

One of the shoes went flying into a corner, and Xander switched legs, still eating the pizza.

"Your obviously a boy of hidden talents, pet," Spike said, amused.

 Xander grinned at Spike for a moment before he remembered who exactly Spike was. He looked away just as he managed to get his other shoe off. He finished his slice of pizza standing still, looking at the hiking shoes. When he was done he wiped his hands on his jean, grabbed the box, and walked to the bed to sit so he could put them on.

Spike watched Xander, smirking slightly. He stretched out on the side of the bed not occupied by the pizza boxes, legs crossed at the ankles, and his head pillowed on his arms, the personification of casual.

"What did you do with my clothes?" Xander asked. He finished tying his new boots, which thankfully seemed to fit, and grabbed another piece of pizza. He didn't look at Spike.

"I'll give you three guesses."

"Just tell me, OK? It's not like I can do anything about it now." Xander still wouldn't look at Spike, but his appitite seemed fine as he ate the pizza. He grabbed a soda and opened it.

"Well, it happens that one of the fangy hordes is just about your size," Spike said. "And this is just one of oh, two or three bolt holes..." Spike trailed off meaningfully.

"So you, what, had him dress in my clothes and staked him?" Xander risked a glance at Spike, looking confused.

Spike rolled his eyes. "No, he's wearing your clothes, bound and gagged, and locked up in a dark room, won't fool Angelus for more than a moment, but might give your little friends a fright."

"Oh." That didn't make a lot of sense to Xander, but hey, vampire, crazy. "You know he didn't have any idea what you meant, right? About the whole Yoda thing?"

Spike glowered. "Maybe I didn't care if he understood or not." He sounded bizarrely defensive.

"Ok then. Just pointing out." Xander looked around. "Where's the TV?"

Spike smirked. "Out there with the fangy hordes. Can send Dalton out for a few books though, if you like." 

"Gameboy?" Xander asked.

"And why exactly would I let you play with _my_ Gameboy?" Spike asked. "If I actually had one, that is."

"What else am I supposed to do?" Xander asked sullenly. OK, so he was trying to figure out if he could manage an escape, but he wasn't going to tell Spike that. He just needed to wait till the vampires fell asleep.

"I did say I could send Dalton for some books," Spike said. 

"Wonderful," Xander said. "Great, fine, send for books." He sighed heavily.

Spike sat up, and left the room, leaving the door slightly ajar.

Xander peeked out cautiously, trying to get a feel for where he was in in the house, mansion, or whatever. It was dark and hard to see. He didn't spot any vampires, which was good.

There were no vampires in sight, but he could hear a television set playing somewhere downstairs.  Xander risked stepping out, looking around to see where he was. He was less interested in the stairs than he was in finding an outside window. He was willing to take a fall from the second floor if it would let him get out during the day when the vamps wouldn't be able to chase him.

He wandered what he was able to figure out pretty quickly was either a third or second floor of a pretty big building. The only windows he found were boarded up. A third floor drop would be a bad idea. He might get into the sun, but there would be no way for him to get away on two broken legs. He looked around for Spike, in case he was coming back. The hard part was going to be getting the boards off quickly. If he had a hammer... yeah, and if he had a water gun full of holy water, he could shoot his way out. He looked at the windows he found, hoping to spot one that didn't look well secured.

"Naughty boy to be wandering around at night," said a sleepy sounding, feminine voice. "It isn't _safe._ "

Xander whirled. "Um. Hi." He had a feeling this was the doll lady. She was dressed in old-timey clothes, and seemed distracted. "Just, um, hoping to get a breath of fresh air."

The dark, unfocussed eyes seemed to stare at a point slightly above Xander's head. "You mustn't leave yet, my Spike needs a needle to find the Grail." 

"I wasn't going to leave just yet," Xander said. He hadn't been planning to, anyway. He was going to wait till the sun came up.

The unfocussed gaze snapped downward. Xander might have backed up a step if he hadn't suddenly felt rooted to the floor. "Don't lie, it isn't nice," Dru said in a peevish, childlike voice. She beckoned him imperiously. "Miss Edith is having a tea party, you may come, if you are a good boy."

Xander had the sinking feeling that he didn't have a choice in the matter. He followed, still looking around to see what possibilities for escape.

The doll lady took him back into what looked like another former office done up to look like some kind of Victorian parlor. There was a child-sized table with more dolls seated in little chairs, and a teaset in the middle. The doll lady had Xander kneel at the table, and carried on a conversation half with Xander, half with Miss Edith, and half with the empty air, which was one half too many.

Xander tried to keep up with his part of the conversation, answering as well as he could. It was hard to tell what he was supposed to say most of the time, but fortunately that didn't seem to matter. Except fo the times it did, which came with no warning.

Xander was relieved when he heard Spike calling out his name. He didn't get a chance to call out before Spike came running in.

"Dru, the damned virgin is--here." Spike came to a sudden stop, his eyes widening as he took in the scene. "Ah, luv, I'm not sure a tea party is quite-" He cut himself off, looking uncertain.

"He is being a good boy now," Dru said. "Would you like some tea?"

"Sure, pet. Tea would be nice," Spike said carefully. "But I'd best get the boy to bed. It's past his bedtime."

 


End file.
